Monday, March 14, 2011

New Ways but Love Stays

I love this post heading. I can't take credit for it as it's an old (and great) 70's Supremes album name, but I can say that it perfectly sums up what's been happening to me these past three years.

Tomorrow, March 15,th will be the third year of my partners passing from Leukemia. New ways indicates all the new things that have happened since then in my attempts to carry on without Robbie: new career (culinary); new adventures (travelling around the world); new friends; basically a new life that admittedly I'm still trying to adjust.

I think I'm handling it much better now, thanks to patience and making decisions that I know are best for me, with no regrets. I don't have that haunted look in my eyes anymore (so I've been told) which is good to know. Slowly but surely, I'm starting to be myself again, albeit with a few changes (ok, ok, we'll call them what they really are: personality quirks), and I'm accepting those too.

And yet - despite all these changes, love stays. I still miss him very much but that's ok, I'm allowed to.

Life can and does change in an instant, whether we like it or not. Having watched what's been happening around the world lately, these terrible events and watching these people on TV or in the papers suffer through loss: families, relatives, friends, people who are dealing or will have to deal with incredible loss; knowing their difficult journey is just beginning - my heart and prayers go out to each and every one of them. It's such a short life isn't it? That's why I'm so grateful to even have had the chance to meet someone like Rob let alone spend that incredible time together. Greed made me want more – time has made me realize I got exactly what I was supposed to get. It's a very harsh/tough lesson to absorb, but I'm starting to get it now.

I love you Robbie. Thank you for inspiring me and giving me the much needed strength and courage to go on with life as best as I can without you in it. Thought you'd be forgotten? HA! Not a chance! J

Rest, sweet pea, rest.

Robert John Robinson
August 17th, 1971 – March 15th, 2008.


  1. Amen. You remind me to quit worrying about everything all the time and just enjoy it. Everything could change in an instant.

  2. I'm glad I could at least provide a little bit of help to someone!

  3. Tearing up right now. Thanks for this poignant post and so sorry for your loss.

    Again, a reminder to be grateful for those moments when we find the one and to never take them (and life for granted).

    Happy travels.

  4. Thank you for that very kind note :) and you're right about being grateful but I should add that we should also learn to not punish ourselves for being human. Sometimes you just don't know what you have until it's gone and sadly it's not until that happens that you can really have the time to reflect on things - wishing and wanting won't change what happened but we can definitely learn something from it - or hope to. I do think we should also enjoy our lives too and try not to take things so seriously either - that's why we travel right??