Wednesday, February 18, 2015

A gentle reminder..

No matter when or how it happens. Whether it's quick or long term, you're never ready for it. You'll never be 'ready' for it. It will be a shock to the mind, body and spirit. It will take your breath away at the level of emotion that hits you and continues to hit you as the days go on. And when the shock wears away, you suddenly move from surreal fog, to harsh reality.

This past weekend, one of my best friends father passed away, suddenly, of a heart attack. Just last Friday, we were having drinks at our local hangout, talking about the annual hunting trip that he was planning to take with his Dad. Dreams, plans, all of it, here one minute, and then it's gone.

We've been told so many times that life is short. We're reminded to make the most of life while you're still living. I know that I've repeated that message myself over a million times, and maybe a few times on this blog. It's a message that's kept me going, kept me sane after my own partner's death six years ago. But, I'll admit that it's very easy to say or write down, it's also a message that's difficult to stand by.

I've ask myself what does it really mean, "life is short, make the most of it?" What are people to make of that message, particularly after they've experience the death of a loved one? After six years of trying/struggling to get a grip on life after loss, I think I may have finally figured it out.

The message is not a war cry to change the world. It's not about changing everything about who or what you are. It's about simplicity and acceptance. Forget about changing the freaking world. Focus on what you can do. Just you, not the world. Even if it's a small thing that you've always wanted to do or try. Like making that cake recipe that's been on the back of your mind for years. Seriously. It could be anything, but it's defiantly personal.

Maybe it's simple, or it could be difficult, but you do you're best to achieve it - for you. And even if you don't quite make it, if the cake turns into a cookie or ends up in the garbage, it's ok, you tried. And if you can smile about it, or even laugh at the memory, that's when you know you're making the most of life - YOUR life.

I needed a reminder of that, and I got one. Rest in peace AJH, rest.

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